ENGLISH AS IT IS BROKEN 25 (14.01.07)
Error Correction
For discussion this week, the master teachers dissect a set of instructions for modeller’s clay.
This was, yet again, a somewhat pointless exercise: A cursory glance would have informed any reader that the instructions were quite obviously of mainland Chinese origin, and that the writer was a foreign learner of English with a rudimentary grasp of English grammar, translating from Chinese with the help of a dictionary. In short, this was an irrelevant example — it was not Singaporean English, and its errors hardly typical of Singaporean pupils. Hence, it is difficult to see what they are meant to learn from it.
Case in point: Stop using as soon as you tickle in playing clay (Line 4). Any Singaporean would recognize the grammar of this example as being entirely foreign; indeed, one could hardly imagine a Singaporean teenager uttering it. The use of tickle to mean ‘itch’ is irrefutable evidence of translation from Chinese: In Mandarin, yang (third tone; fall–rise) means either ‘ticklish’ or ‘itchy’.
Evidently, the futility of the exercise is not completely lost on the experts either. After struggling with just four lines of the eight-line instructions, they give up and invite the reader to ‘try your hand at correcting the rest of the instructions’.
Do Your Modifiers Dangle?
No sooner do the master teachers launch into correcting the errors in the example than they commit one themselves:
As a non-edible item, it is evident that clay cannot be consumed.
This is an example of a dangling modifier — typically a phrase or a clause that is misplaced and ends up modifying (i.e. explaining, or adding more information to) the wrong noun, noun phrase or pronoun. The way the sentence is written, the subject pronoun of the main clause, it, is falsely modified by the preceding phrase, As a non-edible item. Suggested remedies:
As a non-edible item, clay obviously cannot be consumed.
OR
It is obvious that clay, as a non-edible item, cannot be consumed.
Dangling modifiers are a highly stigmatized error, exceedingly common in English-speaking countries such as Britain and America. They are all too easily made, difficult to spot, and even more difficult to teach.
Just the day before, the Straits Times ‘Saturday’ supplement (13.1.06) carried an astonishingly poorly (and pompously) written half-page advertisement for the S. Rajaratnam School of International Studies (RSIS), which, among other horrors, perpetrated the following:
Although gifted as a wordsmith, the words of what would become the National Pledge didn’t come easily, as they weren’t composed under the best of times.
The words of the National Pledge were gifted as a wordsmith? Certainly not, but this is what the sentence says, the way it is written. And under the best of times? Surely the correct preposition is in. Suggested remedy:
Although Rajaratnam was a gifted wordsmith, the words of what would become the National Pledge didn’t come easily, as they weren’t composed in the best of times.
Depending on their form, dangling modifiers are also sometimes known as dangling participles. An oft-quoted example:
Badgers can often be seen, driving at night.
Badgers drive at night? No; the above should read: Driving at night, we can often see badgers.
Error Correction
For discussion this week, the master teachers dissect a set of instructions for modeller’s clay.
This was, yet again, a somewhat pointless exercise: A cursory glance would have informed any reader that the instructions were quite obviously of mainland Chinese origin, and that the writer was a foreign learner of English with a rudimentary grasp of English grammar, translating from Chinese with the help of a dictionary. In short, this was an irrelevant example — it was not Singaporean English, and its errors hardly typical of Singaporean pupils. Hence, it is difficult to see what they are meant to learn from it.
Case in point: Stop using as soon as you tickle in playing clay (Line 4). Any Singaporean would recognize the grammar of this example as being entirely foreign; indeed, one could hardly imagine a Singaporean teenager uttering it. The use of tickle to mean ‘itch’ is irrefutable evidence of translation from Chinese: In Mandarin, yang (third tone; fall–rise) means either ‘ticklish’ or ‘itchy’.
Evidently, the futility of the exercise is not completely lost on the experts either. After struggling with just four lines of the eight-line instructions, they give up and invite the reader to ‘try your hand at correcting the rest of the instructions’.
Do Your Modifiers Dangle?
No sooner do the master teachers launch into correcting the errors in the example than they commit one themselves:
As a non-edible item, it is evident that clay cannot be consumed.
This is an example of a dangling modifier — typically a phrase or a clause that is misplaced and ends up modifying (i.e. explaining, or adding more information to) the wrong noun, noun phrase or pronoun. The way the sentence is written, the subject pronoun of the main clause, it, is falsely modified by the preceding phrase, As a non-edible item. Suggested remedies:
As a non-edible item, clay obviously cannot be consumed.
OR
It is obvious that clay, as a non-edible item, cannot be consumed.
Dangling modifiers are a highly stigmatized error, exceedingly common in English-speaking countries such as Britain and America. They are all too easily made, difficult to spot, and even more difficult to teach.
Just the day before, the Straits Times ‘Saturday’ supplement (13.1.06) carried an astonishingly poorly (and pompously) written half-page advertisement for the S. Rajaratnam School of International Studies (RSIS), which, among other horrors, perpetrated the following:
Although gifted as a wordsmith, the words of what would become the National Pledge didn’t come easily, as they weren’t composed under the best of times.
The words of the National Pledge were gifted as a wordsmith? Certainly not, but this is what the sentence says, the way it is written. And under the best of times? Surely the correct preposition is in. Suggested remedy:
Although Rajaratnam was a gifted wordsmith, the words of what would become the National Pledge didn’t come easily, as they weren’t composed in the best of times.
Depending on their form, dangling modifiers are also sometimes known as dangling participles. An oft-quoted example:
Badgers can often be seen, driving at night.
Badgers drive at night? No; the above should read: Driving at night, we can often see badgers.
Sounding the Horn
The master teachers take issue with this example from the Singapore Police Force: ‘Horn to warn others of danger and not to express your frustration. Horning unnecessarily may alarm or anger other road users into making unpredictable moves which may lead to accidents.’
They rightly criticize the use of horn as a verb, but curiously do not provide any Standard English equivalents, though one is implied in the section title: ‘When to sound the horn’. Apart from sound the horn, we can say toot/honk the horn, or simply honk. Some readers will be familiar with the bumper sticker widely seen in the United States: Honk If You Love Jesus.
The master teachers quote an unnamed Australian friend as being ‘amused’ by the Singaporean expression and by the way ‘Singaporeans have mangled the English language’. She might like to know that Australian English likewise provides much amusement to many British speakers, who consider Australian English and American English mangled and inferior. The plain truth, of course, is that language change is natural, and no two societies living apart for a time will speak an identical variety of the same language. Just as it is naïve to regard Australian English and American English as degenerate varieties of British English, it is irrational to expect Singaporeans living in Singapore to speak British or American or Australian English.
The master teachers take issue with this example from the Singapore Police Force: ‘Horn to warn others of danger and not to express your frustration. Horning unnecessarily may alarm or anger other road users into making unpredictable moves which may lead to accidents.’
They rightly criticize the use of horn as a verb, but curiously do not provide any Standard English equivalents, though one is implied in the section title: ‘When to sound the horn’. Apart from sound the horn, we can say toot/honk the horn, or simply honk. Some readers will be familiar with the bumper sticker widely seen in the United States: Honk If You Love Jesus.
The master teachers quote an unnamed Australian friend as being ‘amused’ by the Singaporean expression and by the way ‘Singaporeans have mangled the English language’. She might like to know that Australian English likewise provides much amusement to many British speakers, who consider Australian English and American English mangled and inferior. The plain truth, of course, is that language change is natural, and no two societies living apart for a time will speak an identical variety of the same language. Just as it is naïve to regard Australian English and American English as degenerate varieties of British English, it is irrational to expect Singaporeans living in Singapore to speak British or American or Australian English.
